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THE HOTEL GUEST AND
SOAPS
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars
of soap
in my bathroom since I have brought my own
bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened
little bars from the shelf under the medicine
chest and another three in the shower soap dish.
They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
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Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back
tomorrow,
Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel
soaps out of
the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars
on your shelf I took out of your way and put on
top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should
change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I
left today which my instructions from the
management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this
is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
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Dear Maid-
I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy
did not
tell you about my note to her concerning the
little bars of
soap. When I got back to my room this evening I
found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf
under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here
in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my
own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little
Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way
when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove
them.
S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left
3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the
management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your
way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish
where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the
medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't
remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always
placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new
check-ins and which you did not object to when
you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if
I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
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Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me
this A.M. that you called him last evening and
said you were unhappy with your maid service. I
have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you
will accept my apologies for any past
inconvenience. If you have any future complaints
please contact me so I can give it my personal
attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and
5PM. Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
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Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I
leave the
hotel for business at 745 AM and don't get back
before 530 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr.
Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.
I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do
anything about those little bars of soap. The new
maid you assigned me must have thought I was a
new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars
of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with
her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room
shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24
little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to
me?
S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop
delivering
soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If
I can be
of further assistance, please call extension 1108
between
8AM and 5PM.
Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
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Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap
was taken
from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I
came in
late last night and had to call the bellhop to
bring me 4
little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen,
of your
soap problem. I cannot understand why there was
no soap in your room since our maids are
instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they
service a room. The situation will be rectified
immediately. Please accept my apologies for the
inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
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Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the heck left 54 little bars of Camay in my
room? I
came in last night and found 54 little bars of
soap. I
don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one
damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have
54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath
size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I
had them removed. Then you complained to Mr.
Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I
personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had
been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to
receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about
the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid,
Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so
she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily
Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this
hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate
some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
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Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my
latest soap inventory.
As of today I possess:
On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4
stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4
and 1 stack of 3.
On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere
Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8
Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of
4 and 1
stack of 2.
In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet,
slightly used.
On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks
of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to
make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted.
Also, please advise her that stacks of more than
4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my
bedroom windowsill is not in use and will make an
excellent spot for future soap deliveries.
One more item, I have purchased another bar of
bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel
vault in order to avoid further
misunderstandings.
S. Berman
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